I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
