I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
