dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
