this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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