I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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