He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
