Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.