He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
