About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
