Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
