He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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