And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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