Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
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you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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