i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
