it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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