Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
