If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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