Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
