I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
