When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
