You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
