he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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