just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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