Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
