after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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