Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
