Me. At least after what I've been through.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
