i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize