You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
