you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Alive.
So much puke
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
