Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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