well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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