I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize