I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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