You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
