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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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