I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
