I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize