Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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