He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
