We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
