the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
