pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
