I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Randomize
