Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the raccoons are back...
Randomize