I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
