had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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