Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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