I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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