I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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