I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
