would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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