I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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