new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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