hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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