You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
