Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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