if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
