youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
