wakey wakey hands off snakey
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
